‍

How to make real mayonnaise in 20 seconds; why you should, and how it helps with downsizing.

‍

And why you should never, ever make it with virgin olive oil .

‍

There are two reasons people don’t make their own mayo: it takes forever and usually curdles at the last minute – and after all that effort, it’s not as nice as Hellmann’s. 

‍

This way, it takes 20 seconds – 60 if you include putting everything in the beaker – and it NEVER curdles.

‍

And so long as you don’t make it with extra virgin olive oil it gives Hellmann’s a pretty good run for its money.  

‍

‍

I have to say that as a former addict, it was a day of mourning when I discovered Hellmann’s* was as much a UPF as any other substance made in a factory.

And if you are wondering how something so necessary to civilised existence could possibly be anything other than the elixir of life, it’s partly because of the rapeseed oil: in order to turn it into something bland and colourless enough to pass UPF-muster, it goes through more processes than I’ve had hot dinners (yes, a lot) and uses enough chemicals to keep a swimming pool algae-free – or perhaps algae full – for a week.  And then there’s the ‘flavourings’ which can mean anything, but whatever they’ve put in there, they’ve put it there to make us eat more of it.

*Yes, there are other brands, but your tastebuds will never forgive you if you actually tried them: this is not the time for impartiality.

So exactly how is it possible to make mayo in under 20 seconds – it can take me longer than that to open a new jar.

Well, it’s the easiest thing I have ever learnt to make – and so much fun to do that I sometimes make it just because – but you HAVE to use the right kit.

‍

The Right Kit:

You need a stick (immersion) blender, and a tall thin beaker – preferably the one your stick blender came with.

Whatever you use, it needs to be little wider than the head of the blender.

‍

Ingredients

• 1 whole egg
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 1 teaspoon white wine vinegar or lemon juice
• Salt and pepper
• Roughly 150ml bland oil – a mild olive oil or sunflower work well.
• Any spices you feel like using – I often add turmeric and paprika

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

‍

1. Put the egg, mustard, vinegar, and salt and pepper  – and any spices you want to use – in the tall beaker.
2. Add the oil – you don’t have to be too precise about  the amount – and allow it to settle and separate from the rest.
3. Put the stick blender in, making sure it touches the bottom.
4. Turn it on and hold it on the bottom for about 10 seconds – you will see it beginning to emulsify immediately.
5. Gradually draw the head of the blender up, watching it emulsify as you go. You may want to draw it up and down a couple of times if it is not completely emulsified.

And that’s it.

‍

‍

Diva Notes

‍

Never Make Mayo With Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Extra virgin olive oil is inherently extremely bitter.  Its droplets are made of tiny fragments but while they are bound together we are protected from the full force of the bitterness. However, the vigour of a processor breaks them apart and the bitterness is released, making the mayo taste so disgusting, you fear it might do you a mischief.

Make it with a pale, non-virgin olive oil or something like sunflower oil – even the cheap stuff works perfectly well.

‍

How does it compare?‍

I am not going to lie to you: it is not the same as Hellmann’s, but once you’ve weaned yourself off the siren-call of all the UPF wizardry (you may need to work at it), it is remarkably good.

‍

And how exactly can it help with downsizing?

Homemade mayonnaise has not been formulated to make you want to eat more and more of it, so instead of wanting dollop after dollop (and then a few more dollops), a dessertspoonful feels more than enough. Mayo is very calorie dense, so eating less of it – without the use of willpower – is a good thing.

‍

Don't eat low-fat mayonnaise

If you can’t live without Hellmann’s (and no-one would blame you), do not even think of buying the reduced fat version: the main ingredient of mayo is oil.  Turning modified starch into something that tastes like an emulsion of oil and egg is not for the fainthearted, or anyone who values their microbiome  – especially the xanthan gum (bacterial slime) and other emulsifiers,  which are needed to bind the unbindable together and make it feel good in the mouth.